pretend. happy end

2010-09-01T10:13:00.003-04:00

waiting for a change.
aren't we all?

2009-09-11T15:40:00.001-04:00

it's been too long

2009-08-01T19:12:00.001-04:00

i was born to tell you: 'i love you'

2009-07-29T14:23:00.002-04:00

can't escape the nagging feeling that sits with me like a shadow when the sun comes out to play
only in the rain do i find it held at bay

2009-07-28T12:47:00.002-04:00

your heat crawls under my skin
infecting everything it touches
cutting me up inside
until i've forgotten who i am
my blood boils
crying out my eyes
and catching in my throat
so words can't escape
and i fill with all i want to say
and all i need to be
is lost forever in a red sea
drowning amongst the fishes

2009-07-26T10:09:00.001-04:00

my stomachs sickness seeps into my heart
dead butterflies make perfect food for the worms.

2009-07-11T16:13:00.002-04:00

drained of all my insides
wear my skin upon your bones
holding still
my beating heart
your wry grin's left my stomach in ropes
and i've never felt so weak
an end i've never feared before
the days fly by
and all the while
i hold onto everything
like there will be no other.

2009-07-06T20:34:00.002-04:00

blood seething
burning skin
whoring out my wretched soul
beating from the inside out
dripping out my gender
staining everything i claim
tainting it forever
sickening me
my body aches
headless
and without horse.

2009-07-04T08:34:00.001-04:00

i've known my sadness as long as i've known myself
and for it to go would be to lose a part of me
that maybe i'm not willing to leave behind.

this feeling of old

2009-07-02T13:11:00.003-04:00

my being is torn
between wrong and the light
by the shine of the moon
in the midst of black night
in the times we are one
to the times we break
two
all my strength doth subside
and something seeps through
consuming and warm
in the black and the cold
guiding my hand and my heart
this feeling of old

six word memoirs

2009-06-16T22:53:00.002-04:00

she is music to my soul

2009-05-31T14:11:00.002-04:00

in the soft morning light
tracing your body with my finger
it's hard to imagine anything more
or less

then i open my eyes
and the clock fills the room
quiet sets a pace
cold across my skin
and the growing sense of an ending
before any kind of beginning
starts eating out my inside

and i know i'm in over my head

2009-05-30T10:20:00.000-04:00

drowning slowly...

six word memoirs

2009-05-30T10:17:00.000-04:00

i can't trust my hands anymore...

my sight

2009-05-27T12:40:00.000-04:00

i am not blind
and
i am not a saint
sinking through the darkness
i never complained
weighted at the ankles
thrown into the sea
watching the waves form
waiting for the beat

i have not bottomed
these rope-burns are strained
climbing through the darkness
i never complained
lungs yearning for freedom
find them a plea
hold onto the bombshell
waiting for the beat

fast-forward to a girl nobody knows
sitting still in a world that never slows

six word memoirs

2009-05-24T22:15:00.001-04:00

what the fuck was i thinking?

2009-05-21T23:33:00.003-04:00

she took my heart
i don't know where
as she's never told me
where she went
when we were gone
but the love
i held for her heart
smolders under seasons past
even still
and i can't look behind me
so i walk along
a different path
and i fear
for my beating heart
as it is falling
yet again
but where is there left to fall
when i've been on the ground for so long
losing
for so long.

wasting time

2009-05-20T20:46:00.003-04:00

i'm about to explode
listening to you talk
i can't forget to hold back
can't forget to look down
i just want to...
hang out
staring
your green eyes
watching you before me
studying your neckline
waistline
wasting time

six word memoirs

2009-05-20T02:11:00.000-04:00

all my efforts not to touch

high voltage

2009-05-13T01:17:00.003-04:00

i've been getting used to your energy
seeing the spark in your eyes
your nervous babble

you force me out of my shell
and i've no idea why.

heart or hands?

2009-05-07T01:10:00.005-04:00

i've no clue what to do with all that i have
my hands wish to betray my heart
to lay across you
traced by my lips
my eyes
lift you from your slumber

i see you, through you
met you a thousand times
and you're as different now as you were then
caught in the butterfly net
you wear as a veil

stronger than you know
shattered as you are
chasing the pack instead of your heart
but roads unwind
and blurs align

golden bricks lay buried
underneath the sand
though, you should know
i'm no wizard
you've your own ruby slippers
you just need to use them

six word memoirs

2009-05-02T20:57:00.004-04:00

day
it starts
always too fast

2009-05-02T20:57:00.001-04:00

too long, too long.

everything but you

2009-04-10T23:24:00.001-04:00

my fingers have found no way
and my mind tics only to tock
my breath so shallow
i'm walking
but for air
every sound that isn't yours
breaks me
it's been so long
i'm losing
even your face
you were all i could see
all that was me
everything passes
but you

2009-04-09T11:31:00.002-04:00

eas⋅y [ee-zee]
not hard or difficult; requiring no great labor or effort.

peas⋅y [pee-zee]
no definition.

everyone falling

2009-04-09T11:23:00.002-04:00

wrapped up
in our blankets
keeping mind
tongue
and guts
from falling on the floor
though we are falling
constantly falling
so slowly

these blankets blind
we know ourselves
the others fall away
wrapped up in me
i lose perspective

wrapped up in you
you've lost me

and i'm still falling

these games we play

2009-03-04T18:51:00.003-05:00

watch me watch you,
catch your breath
your heart beats short
mine skips a step
what's yours to give
i've got to get
you make me smile,
i'll make you sweat

a body moves to meet a touch
my lips
your neck
my mind a rush
your eyes, they smile
your body flush
melting me in tempered hush

i love to hate
these games we play
a push, a pull
caught in the fray
it's just a start
i'll stay at bay
but in the end
you'll play my way

six word memoirs

2009-03-02T11:56:00.001-05:00

Shakespeare WOULD hate my emo poems

all

2009-02-17T11:18:00.003-05:00

hands tick by
like blades
time spills forth
as memories drown
the river rushes
ever changing
i wade
thought wait
but no
as even stillness changes
and i am constantly reminded
that alone
we are all together
that differences
make us all the same
what i saw as light
a mirage in the dark
my eyes now wide
can see nothing
but with my heart
i see all

six word memoirs

2009-01-21T17:52:00.000-05:00

a change of space is needed

live and re-live

2009-01-19T13:48:00.001-05:00

people as anti-social as i
follow the social code
walk with heads down
look past everyone
people move
the halls breath
in and out
dirty water gathers
fills
overflows
how trivial
what meaning
no one lends a helping hand
currents lead us to our destined nation
open waters
baited with all that we fear
some float
some sink
never to be seen again
the divers salvage what they can
the lifetimes ago
only to live it again

anew

2009-01-10T22:48:00.005-05:00

running with the waves like wild horess of the sea
tread atop the undertow
or fall beneath her feet
enamored by the flecks of gold that dance atop her skin
i follow like the piper
lost and found her wryful grin

like a playful child i am washed up by the waves
water slipping off my skin
getting lapped up by the fray
my body quivers as i watch the castles shifting in the clouds
i build my life upon the sand
amidst the crashing sounds

pale and shovel in hand
ignorance lives out this child's dream
the tide comes in
engulfs my world
my pain is washed back to the sea
so tired i tread
i try to keep my head above the murky blue
slowly slip beneath the surface
drift to death
a life
anew

beautiful, broken

2008-12-21T23:03:00.002-05:00

Just when I think
That I’ve washed my hands of you
You flood back in
My sallow dreams
drowning me in blue

I used to like to live
Even when it felt like this
But now this is all I’m feeling
I know i’m better off dead

I still sit beside myself
Wishin’ it was you
So enamored by your memory
Life just passes through

My heart can be your hideaway
It’s been yours since we met
Tis’ not much, this I know
But it’s all that I am

And you don’t even care.
I’ve no words to sum my pain
Though pain be the difference between me and you
So beautifully broken

what good is love without loving you?

2008-12-21T22:51:00.002-05:00

always lost
i've never found
myself
since you faded away
now i'm caught in your memory
my misery
the space you fail to reside
because my love is bigger than i am
more than my words could ever say
i've never felt so small
and i wonder how you could care
then never call
never write
leave me to my own
looking for my heart
it walked out on me with you
now resides in the place of last things
soon to be lost

still broken

2008-12-07T20:22:00.004-05:00

alone in the morning sun
enjoying the calm
make myself a coffee
let it warm my fingertips

as the cream clouds my coffee
i feel the pull of your memory
and i slip into the haze

your warmth
your creamy skin
so smooth
so soft
like heaven in my hands

back to my coffee
satisfying
and i work through my day
remain that way
until i reach for my phone
hun, it's happening again

i stumble and fall
broken thoughts
of wanting
kissing you

your face
fingers in mine

and circles are the theme of my life
because i return to myself
now
sometimes with a smile
this time
with a smile

more than water

2008-12-04T10:02:00.002-05:00

walking through halls
or streets
or heads
light as a feather
smile on face
snow gently falling
raining
calling
fumbling toward the bright
like a carrot on a string
heaven only knows
the garden we tread o'er
to get there
but when you've stopped to smell the roses
and find yourself back in the desert
water is not the only thing you crave

six word memoirs

2008-11-27T15:08:00.000-05:00

there is hope for the hopeless

2008-11-26T14:54:00.002-05:00

I hold your memory up close to my face
just to see if your beauty matches to the grain
of the wood on the frame
and the stain of our ‘was’ to the pain of my now
as I’ve lost what I had
because I can’t remember
the soft of your skin on the tips of my fingers
or the map of your freckles when my eyes used to linger
so I stare a bit harder
cross my eyes over heart
and the colours and moments fold over each other
revealing what went unnoticed
but between those lines
our hands intertwined
and that wisp of a thought
always brings me a smile
so I’ll hold your memory up close to my face
while your back is turned on me
and wait for the sun to shine

pendulum

2008-11-19T01:20:00.000-05:00

would you hate me if i wanted to be your friend
6 hours 47 minutes tick by under a ladybug shell
and you knew only 5 minutes before
your mind is not something easily read
i'm assuming mine is the same
but you held me, and stood me, and lead me, and left me
and if this is goodbye,
(i'm sorry) your gone.

2008-11-19T01:19:00.001-05:00

boredom consumes
so does depression
don't get the two mixed up
boredom can lead to being depressed
but depression is consuming in its own right
it's like quicksand
except you can feel it over your whole body at once
you're not sinking
you're being engulfed
all at once
like a vacuum over your body pulling you every which way
your head pounds
eyes are heavy
sleep is welcomed, but never comes
every hair, every muscle, every cell of your body
carries tremendous weight
a miracle really
how much weight you can lift
how you can still walk and talk
smile even
but its there
its always there

me

2008-11-19T01:16:00.001-05:00

so i'm lost and no ones found
beautiful but flawed
i missed the call
and my insides hurt
so i lay here
waiting for something to change
waiting for the thought
that will push me
back into me

lessons learned

2008-11-19T01:15:00.003-05:00

it was a moment of weekness
your moment
and i fell in love
with the tears in your eyes
i saw
in that moment
what holds dear to your heart
and i realize what holds in mine
thank you

2008-11-19T01:15:00.001-05:00

your soul's reflection shines through, blinding me with my tears
your comforting touch reveals a lifetime of pain, yes, my pain
i sit here contemplating this worlds disaster
the people dying
hurting
yet i always come back to you and it hurts me more
because you are so pure even for a moment
and my heart breaks for you
it just your beauty's killing me

to whom this may concern

2008-11-19T01:14:00.000-05:00

you don't look like the others
your of a different breed

ponder this here figment
because this, alas, is your world to hold
it will deside the distance of your waters echo

but still i saw the pain in your heart when rejection walked away
and i saw you recoil into self loathing
though you hide it well

if only you knew how i see you
or how many more see you too

fading in 2 am's soft moonlight
i don't know how to lift you to acceptance
because you are who you are
and you are beautiful

2008-11-19T01:13:00.000-05:00

We once were so close
But now live separate lives
I look back on it now
All those "good old" times
but when did you decide
I wasn't worthy of you
You just kept me around
So you had something to do
You strung me along
Thinking that I couldn't see
But don’t forget I know you
Don’t forget you know me
Do you want honesty now?
Because I’ve got it in spades
You’re an amazing person
That’s got lost along the way
In your quest to be accepted
You put on faces you don’t need
But don’t lose what made you you
Don’t become who you pretend to be
I think maybe its part my fault
For not telling you before
Before we went our separate ways
Before you went too far
I am sorry to do this
But I’m not going to bend
I’m still a friend if you need me
But this, my friend, is the end

salt

2008-11-19T01:10:00.000-05:00

fear affects our hearts
so what are you afraid of?
you're just as scared to hear the truth
as i am to speak it
why do you run so far?
tisk tisk
my words are quicker than you
waves echo up the walls of this room
what to do when anger and heart collide?
i try to force back my smile
you turn at the sight of it
piercing
the look you long to give
you always knew your looks invite death
what is left to do
walk away from you?
i did that a long time ago
so did you
duling pistols at your side
when did we change sides
rocks falling at our feet
what if i miss you
what would you say then?
because that is truth
so is the disappointment in my eyes
my heart
my voice
the salt from mine eyes
kills the life that surrounds me
i grow wiery of the game you turned us into
sucking the air out of every room you enter
i crawl out under the fire
your light once so bright just burns cold now
you have forged your soul
out of misconceptions and lies
all i can do now is watch you from afar
and hope all the best for you
because finding that for yourself may be te hardest thing you do
all my love

your friend

2008-11-19T01:09:00.001-05:00

i see pain in your eyes
every day you lose the world
you steal your tears away
i hold you anyway
your smile is worth it
so strong
your heart
your arms
but you fall so quickly
so i'll pick you up
again
and again
because that's what love is

2008-11-19T01:08:00.002-05:00

so shy
sitting behind your smile
your eyes speak to mine
now so does your lips
you understand that the world is painted on
but you keep yourself anyway
content with freedom
content with solidarity
content with me
but still you sit behind your quiet smile
shy
waiting for me

circles and circles and cirles again

2008-11-19T01:08:00.001-05:00

caught between the devices you slave to
the devices you crave to
your body sways passionatly
to your own rythm
you surprise me with clouds
and circles
with a silver lining in your hair
and from your lips a sirens song
i am powerless
you run, almost weightless across the floor
but you always come back
well
not always

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

2008-11-19T01:06:00.000-05:00

recoiled into myself
i have nothing left to do
people live their lives
words and others are a misdemeanor
off the record
we all are guilty
and it's all been done before
and will be again
can we change who we are?
and if we succeed, will we really have succeeded?
or would we just be fooling ourselves again
pain is too easy of an emotion
try love, and joy
my spine is closing in on itself
and it hurts to know
i've changed
for better or for worse
and your "health" is making you sick
sleep comes all to late
and i'm tired of waiting
so i sit in silence?
turn it down
too long in the same position
i need a change
get out of this town
happiness is but a dream
but than again so is this

counting

2008-11-19T01:04:00.000-05:00

so l count the somedays that your here
holding onto what promotes my sanity
for dear life i balance
walking on eggshells
cutting the bottoms of my feet
scaring the depths of my soul
just to know that you will pick me up
lick my wounds
kiss my mouth
touch me
risking everything for you
without me i am nothing
without you i am less
so ill count the somedays that your here
the stars and moon can wait
time and space
eternal bliss
because without you these things don't exist
just the memory of what you were
which does not deserve you
because none can compaire
so ill count the somedays that your here
so i can live
up to you

2008-11-19T01:03:00.001-05:00

everything is false
everything....
so we put our barriers up, to hide people from ourselves
or ourselves from them
we put clothes on our bodies to hide what we are
what we wear is a reflection of what we think is cool,
not because we think it is cool,
but because we want others to think it
or scary, or dangerous, or feminine, or strong, or sexy
we are no longer bashful, just greedy for attention
and those who don't think or know this, lie to themselves
because we all want to be good people
it is a conscientious decision to be "good" or "evil"
but we are all actors
all wanting to be what we think human is, yet no one really knowing how to do it
watching yourself cry in the mirror
like its you at your lowest, and it may be
but then forcing yourself to keep on crying [and you do it]
makes it false
just like everything else

im tired of you

2008-11-19T01:02:00.001-05:00

i am tired of you
and i'm tired of this game
i have laid myself to sleep
trying to forgive you of the shame
i don't like to see you
in such a dark light
but every time we speak
the lights get dimmer
my days turn to nights
i'm tired of waiting
i was jaded by your air
but that shade of green that cover'd my eyes
has turned
its through clear glass that now i stare
your heart is good
and your intentions may be well
but good intentions don't build friendship
it's said they pave the road to hell

2008-11-19T01:01:00.001-05:00

where oh where did this world of mine go
what truly is sad is not life itself
or humanity
it is the hopelessness in which you find yourself in
and then it is the act of ignorance
as you turn your back on what you truly are
human

how long

2008-11-19T01:00:00.001-05:00

when did you turn the poetry of your being into words of sorrow?
why did you turn the beauty of what you are into lashes of hate spewing from what used to be such a sweet tasting tongue?
ashes now fall from what was the sparkle in your eye
the space between us that i once longed to fill with you is now as dry as a desert lacking sand
and i'm drowning in it
whatever happened to the rotation of the world as the universe revolved around us?
now along with the sun and moon we fall into a never ending cycle of what we never say
and now we are condemned to stay exactly where we are, in time, in space, in-side-out

your words

2008-11-19T00:59:00.001-05:00

what are words if you don't follow through?
they roll off your tongue like marbles
and hang in the air
but like you
when the wind blows
they are lost
i wonder if you believe the lines that find their way in your mouth
or if you actually think i do
stupidity hangs in the air too
but lingers longer

fire red

2008-11-19T00:58:00.000-05:00

and so you walk away
fire red
more red than you want to be
not so hot
for yourself anyway
but you hide you well
you pretend to be strong
like you don't care
what others, guys, think of you
but it hurts you
it hurts me
to see your strength
a fallacy
but your heart is true
i love your heart
its what makes you you

lack of...

2008-11-19T00:55:00.004-05:00

you strike like lightning
raining on my day
the show is cancelled due to lack of inspiration
but even a whore can be a muse
and miss world sleeps around
the universe her strawberry field
stale and rotten
alone and forgotten
forever

spoon man

2008-11-19T00:55:00.003-05:00

i don't love or like
but long
and whilst, you are an impartial
it was only a matter of time
the pockets full of posy's are overwhelming
i would miss them in the end
and though i try to bury them
my backyards full

of all the questions and answers i can find
i still don't know why you are here

and the spoon carves it's way
through my heart into my belly
as it runs through my marrow to the tips of my fingers
my dreams are never empty

2008-11-19T00:55:00.001-05:00

time keeps flowing
days go by
the sun's still shining
stars fly high
flowers bloom
and babies cry
i keep breathing
(i want to ...)

your smile

2008-11-19T00:54:00.005-05:00

your smile
it turned me
and at that moment
nothing was wrong
or ever had been
and when you were near
nothing mattered
but you
and the kindness in your voice
stroked my heart
and i wish you were with me
for the rest of my life
i will wish you were with me

i'm not welcome here anymore

2008-11-19T00:54:00.004-05:00

so whatever it was
or whomever it may be
that makes us who we are
it may not have me

and as i sit in the presence
of the silhouettes of the night
i sink further into my own skin
where nothing but my mind stirs

my breathing quickens to an impossible rate
and the smile on my face
as radiant as the sun has ever been
burns a hole in time

blue eyes pierce the walls
of the perfectly painted sky
as it burns into the night
complimenting the stars

hello you

2008-11-19T00:54:00.003-05:00

now i look back and wonder
how we ever were who we were
and you meant so much
and i saw things
that i found so easy
but i can't find them anymore
but we are different
and you still seem to surprise me now and again
and i am proud
of you

2008-11-19T00:53:00.000-05:00

longing for your touch
or the comfort of your side
or maybe your arms around my waist
but knowing the improbability of it all
because of who we are
and living each day
seeing you
it's in these moments
i feel like a woman

2008-11-19T00:52:00.002-05:00

with all the flaws in the world
you think yours the most unforgiving
and in someone elses eyes
you may be right
but we all are made
imperfect
and maybe i'm just better at hiding it
but i'm imperfect too
and we all are
from the same mold
we just need to learn
to live the cards we're dealt
and to play like the children we are

space

2008-11-19T00:52:00.001-05:00

the stars adorn the sky
while we cry at night
the grass grows green in the field
as we tread deep into war
birds sing their siren songs
though the air thins around us all
and sadly all of this is overseen
all of beauty
all of pain

word

2008-11-19T00:51:00.003-05:00

so tired of the circles we constantly spin
and the current predicament i find i am in
if i don't like your conscience
would you think it a sin?

come down from the moon and the stars and the sun
it is hard to relate when you think you are "one"
your tongue set to fire
your mind-smoking gun

and i'm here, open ear
open hand
open heart

your telepathy

2008-11-19T00:51:00.001-05:00

embarassed
an understatement
and i'm appologizing to you
because i knew, all night
how this would end
i just couldn't find the words
and you took the chance
i love your bravory
even though i walked away
i just didn't have your strength
and i might have hurt you
i am sorry
really
i just don't feel that way

childs play

2008-11-19T00:50:00.002-05:00

don't bore me with your inequities
when you learn to live
call
when your skin grows strong
and your tears dry
and a normal conversation can be had
without the fear of misinterpritations
call
when a joke's a joke
and its still a joke
call
if you want an opinion
and can handle an opinion
call
when you remember that i am a friend
and my intentions aren't to hurt you
call

i need oxygen

2008-11-19T00:50:00.001-05:00

see my heart
dripping down my face
in puddles on the floor
because i've probably lost who we were
and the friendship we had
so i walk slowly
through the light
and the dark
numb from my words
that i pray didn't hurt you
as much as it did me
to say them
because the truth is i love you
like a friend
like a brother
and the thought of you not here
akin to life without air
and right now
i need oxygen

whatever

2008-11-19T00:49:00.005-05:00

if i knew who i was
i might let you know
let us both in on the secret
we could hold it forever
and we'd know why i cry
why my heart feels empty
why my voice dries to dust
why my mind dare tread
instead we laugh and we share
and i eat up your words
fill the void in my soul
wait for night then for day

jellybean

2008-11-19T00:49:00.004-05:00

if my mouth fly open
let the truth take away what everyone knows
and blind you no futher
but stamp out all sound
for we both know what's to come
and just wait for the day
where we sew what we reap
and the words hang like clouds
when the storm marches on
and lighting touches all
and walls rumble
like the belly of the beast itself
lined with silver
hearts of old
minds no other
left alone
we've lost eachother

something wicked this way comes

2008-11-19T00:49:00.001-05:00

make me move
or make yours first
or stand real still
so no one's hurt
we walk together
both play dumb
but something wicked this way comes

i see you too
you play the game
speak up now
if it won't change
i'm not with you
as i am with some
because something wicked this way comes

impressions

2008-11-19T00:48:00.002-05:00

all in fun
with whomever they may be
because what they think
means everything to you
in whatever moments may be
and ever the wordsmith
smiling is all i can do
as i remember who you are
and what you are
the face i see has always been so clear
all sides
in all lights
it was just my head
my eyes
bogged
fogged
body vs mind vs you vs me
and the battles done a'ragin'
as the war's never been
and a girl
has never felt so special

turbulance

2008-11-19T00:48:00.001-05:00

take my wrist
bend it back
push me up against a wall
kiss my neck
make me bleed
frustration saturates the senses
passion burns
so does ice
as you stare into my soul
niether breaks
til the dawn
of the new age
is seen

who what

2008-11-19T00:47:00.002-05:00

what's wrong with the world?
what is wrong with us
i'd love to know why no one remembers what we mean
when we say we are friends
or maybe i'm assuming
and thats why i feel
like we've been wasting our time
and maybe i have been

indigo

2008-11-19T00:47:00.001-05:00

the worlds weight
it's undertows pull
pulling on my shoulders still
reaching in
into my chest
nothing more can you suggest
angels and my demons spar
wearing masks
we've gone nowhere
if i could speak of what i know
i know i'll love
and hold you here
forever

a sadness i've never known

2008-11-19T00:46:00.003-05:00

my heart, it aches
and time doth pass
just slow enough to burn
and all the song
and all my thoughts
it is to you they turn
and tears, they grow from all my pores
it's to the sea they run
and if i could, i'd follow them
if it meant we could be one
you said those words
i've never known
and my heart, it breaks in two
my only wish, is that you know
i feel the same way too

unlearn

2008-11-19T00:46:00.002-05:00

we've learned to be shells of our true selves
to forget what it is like to be human
to live through each day thinking only of ourselves
our busy schedules
what clothes might look good on us
what purse to wear with that outfit
to leave the world that surrounds us
to live only for ourselves
we are all ignorant to everything
because we are nothing
and we don't care to be anything but what we already are
progression is the illusion that lets us live without the fear that our hearts are breaking
but we are all broken
some more than others
and here comes a new year
but we live for nothing
we live for nothing

you think you know

2008-11-19T00:45:00.000-05:00

Climb higher And get lost in the clouds Lose everything your feet once knew You are above that now Hold on to nothing Your on your way up Higher learning And then you fall Out of the clouds Off the pedestal You've built To the floor Where you now know Nothing

2008-11-19T00:44:00.000-05:00

something
i looked upon you with an awe
mysterious as you were
i was unborn beside you
and we fell together
a short-lived affair
i grew to know you

your learned heart
you play the poet well

you look so hard for the moon
but you miss the rich night sky
and it's stars
and i'm sorry
you've never let me in

2008-11-19T00:43:00.001-05:00

don't lose me

i want your hand
i want your touch
it was safe
for a while
we sunk too far
and without words
we lost ourselves
or i lost me
and so did you
but i'm here
if you need it
a light in the storm
i hope you're warm

if only you knew

2008-11-19T00:42:00.000-05:00

its hard to watch you slide
when i'm nowhere to be seen
and my feelings for you have never changed
even though you've disappointed
me
and yourself
if i could let you feel what i feel
i would hand it over
even though most days i hurt
once you know the seconds of joy
of, yes, love
it will have all been worth it

anonymous

2008-11-19T00:41:00.002-05:00

don't let your beliefs become the wall that parts you from others
and watch who you choose to show down
what you say and how you say it
you've told me before
and i'll tell you again
people express themselves
and so do you
try to understand people before you judge
(and your judgements fucking cut)
live the life, walk the walk
and see where you stand by the time you walk out

i haven't the hardest life
it's been quite a fucking slice compared
but i've seen
and lived through

if offense was taken
speak up
all appologies

but put me down again
please
because i've learned to deal with that too

i've also learned to deal with my anger
(because i'm writing here)

sweet dreams

2008-11-19T00:41:00.001-05:00

ask me a question, i'll lie to your face
and there will be no moral disgrace
rhymes get me no further than you
with your heads lined on stakes
and your views all a-skew
and i turn my red cheeks
and my head full to quip
and i know your blood boils
as i loosen my grip
though your tongue it doth drip
from your fire bleeding lips
i smile a coy smile
and i drift off to sleep
where i dream of the day
when you sew what you reap

a friend in need...

2008-11-19T00:39:00.001-05:00

you long for the truth
(i know what that's like)
so this is all i have to offer

what you see
is me
not all, or half
but enough
and if i could show you everything you wanted
i would
but i can't offer up what isn't there
take what you can
and i thank you
because i have taken everything i need

but i know that our needs are not one in the same
and i am sorry i can't be everything you desire
but i know
that i can't be everything you desire
but i hope you're still here
when you figure this out

imperfections

2008-11-19T00:38:00.002-05:00

all the small things about us are what make s who we are
my imperfections are what perfect me
and i have beautiful eyes that see you
all of you
past your imperfections
though they've perfected you
down to your heart
that touches me
and i am humbled in your presence once again
and it makes me want to be more
and i sit here
shivering with excitement
because i know where i want to be
and i know who i want to be
and it is you who has helped me see that
and i thank you
for being so beautiful

wishing... and hoping...

2008-11-19T00:38:00.001-05:00

and here i go again
wishing i was somewhere else
sleeping beside you
your arms keeping me warm
keeping me safe
but instead i rely on my double thick duvet
and my knee-high socks
because my feet are cold

trees and such

2008-11-19T00:37:00.001-05:00

though my glass half empty
optimism lingers
and i find myself content with where i am
and who i am
there are thoughts
(and dreams)
yet i tread lightly down the path i seem to be following
and i photographically categorize every scene
and lock it away in my memory
so i can hold you there forever

where are you

2008-11-19T00:36:00.002-05:00

so young
no impression
where are all your friends?
your family tied
to themselves they are bound
and i'm scared for you
succumbing to the abyss
you cant hold your head high
or stand on your two feet
and you cried to my eyes
you are scared
and alone

and i care so much more
than i thought that i could
i just wish i knew your name

i don't see you anymore

2008-11-19T00:36:00.001-05:00

i contemplate you
with your hair and your smile
getting lost in the moments
settling down
for just a while
than your tongue lashes out
in that wryful way
and then i lose you in the eyes of another

it's times like these...

2008-11-19T00:35:00.002-05:00

i call you
call you
all the time
but nothing in return
and than i look around me
and everyone else knows theirs
loves theirs
can laugh and share
but i stand alone
and watch them
through the window
and i learn from others
what we should be like
and what i am missing

too stubborn to change

2008-11-19T00:35:00.001-05:00

piss away
and cry your tears
wondering where you went wrong
you aren't man enough for me
reading your own sob story
god
your balls are on the floor
and not in my court
get over yourself
because no one else cares
i don't have the time to coddle you too
we're all busy now
cleaning our own wounds
maybe you should consider
growing up
it gets easier with time

little miss evil's got a way

2008-11-19T00:34:00.003-05:00

walk on eggshells girl
for you are in troubled water
looking down your nose
high on your hill-top
i can see why you're so blind
but even jill fell down the hill
and when i find you there
i'll try to remember not to kick you when you're down

constellation so pure

2008-11-19T00:34:00.001-05:00

and if he is really the muse of all muses
than he will be honor'd
with the greatest gift
the body
as he has inspired me
and stolen my heart
and no man
nor woman
could ever take the place
of the void he hath fill'd

the universe revolves around us

2008-11-19T00:33:00.001-05:00

... i want to believe in something
don't we all
want to be able to lay down our heads
and trust that when we wake
(if we wake)
everything will be ok
will hold our hands when we're fallen
(because we've all fallen)
will carry us when we tire
will love us
unconditionally
but as dust blows in the wind
and as life moves infinitely
we never really know how alone we are
until we die

we have forgotten

2008-11-19T00:32:00.000-05:00

we've everything we could ever want
but still we want more
because we don't know how
to aquire what we need
we're all victims of our own short-comings

i've forgotten how to appologize
and i never ask for help
i am quick to anger
slow to forgive
and though i can see my faults
i find it very hard to change

yet beneath it all
i enjoy who i am
because my intentions are honorable

and though i do wish to become
the ultimate fighting machine
with my practice in yoga, kick boxing, and hip-hop dance
i know i could only use my power for good

and i can only hope to one day become
an X-Men

if you're not bettering yourself, you are actually getting worse

2008-11-19T00:31:00.002-05:00

you think you've a handle on things
but you're as lost as the rest of us
and in frustration you forget
yourself, or what you (know)

what do i see?

a woman who (believes) she knows herself
[all too well]
and what is right from wrong
and what is wrong'er than other wrongs
and is quick to point out faults in others
and to put them in their "place"

but when did you become the teacher?
who asked you for this test?
what makes your answers right,
or (even) better than the rest?

one can only see what people show them
and this is what you have shown me
that maybe you're the one that needs to learn
what other people need

2008-11-19T00:31:00.001-05:00

writing with spilly fingers
and slurs of mind
make for interesting conversation
but when you find you can't hold on to yourself anymore
you find someone else
and they will give you what you shant believe
whatever that may be
and though you know what you may be like
when you write with spilly fingers
and slurs of mind
not even you can predict the future

the underbelly

2008-11-19T00:30:00.000-05:00

So simplistic are the things that we all hold on to
And then we avoid anything real to anything because we fear consequences that again, mean nothing.
We can’t forget the past, because we’d never learn
But we can move on, and embrace, and grow from whatever experiences we collide with
And everything is an experience
We burn so many bridges because we fail to let go of the thought that we, ourselves, aren’t perfect
Or maybe that others, like ourselves, aren’t perfect
And that we all live our lives at different speeds than those all around us
But we all have the commonality that time hastens as we age
And no one is getting any younger
But you’d think we would learn easier
Instead we grow more intolerant
We see squares instead of cubes
Some just see lines
When life’s boundaries are limitless, we live with blinders
And so we have lost our faith
In Life
In God
In Ourselves
So we choose not to trust anyone
And we see in people what we want to see
Some don’t stand a chance