free

a sad, slow song
playing in the background of our time
an old record player
stuck on repeat
no bass
just the scratch
and that morose old man
crying out his heart
in a tune
not far off from the heat of my heart
and if i could make everyone feel
make you feel
the way his chords hit me
we'd all be free

you look so fine

You look so fine
I want to break your heart
And give you mine
You're taking me over

It's so insane
You've got me tethered and chained
I hear your name
And I'm falling over

I'm not like all the other girls
I can't take it like the other girls
I won't share it like the other girls
That you used to know

You look so fine

Knocked down
Cried out
Been down just to find out
I'm through
Bleeding for you

I'm open wide
I want to take you home
We'll waste some time
You're the only one for me

You look so fine
I'm like the desert tonight
Leave her behind
If you want to show me

I'm not like all the other girls
I won't take it like the other girls
I won't fake it like the other girls
That you used to know

You're taking me over
Over and over
I'm falling over
Over and over

You're taking me over
Drown in me one more time
Hide inside me tonight
Do what you want to do
Just pretend happy end
Let me know let it show

Ending with letting go

Let's pretend, happy end

if i could find solace in words
a book
music
the droll that drips off peoples lips
maybe this silence wouldn't hurt so much
plagued by the thoughts in my head
words
screaming so loud
filling every inch of me
catacombs to crevices
suffocating me from the inside out
blotting out the light
eating out my chest
if i could purge myself of the blackness
stored down to my toes
and feel anything but empty...
maybe an end wouldn't look so inviting
though the knife in my gut
is not as inviting as assumed

together in the dark it's easy to speak of all the things we want to hear
it's another to live them

i live for all these tiny little things
as they are what breaks me in the end

caught between everything that ever existed
and never was
and all that is and will be
i don't know what way to turn
i know what i want, and have wanted...
and that backs bend only so far
mine i would break
for anything you'd wish
need you only ask
and i wish i could read you
as well i as read the future
"The bell invites me. Hear it not, for it is a Knell"
and this rings so loud i can't hear anything but
and you're voice is so soft
as is your skin
and your eyes
and mine can't bear to hold back much longer
as the rest of my soul feels like spilling onto the floor
more and more
and my insensate ways tend to come out
in these unfortunate ways and times
but its only in an act of self preservation
but if you need
to be preserved
i will sacrifice myself
again

days blur by
faster
faster
i want to let myself down
but in 6 days time
i'll hit the ground
my breath already lost
and my fears may all come to pass
because all i ever wanted became mine
and like a fool
i grabbed on for dear life
and what's left to do but laugh
as the fates must be doing now
but if laughter saves us
what's killing me?

time drips slowly
from the bathroom tap
that won't turn off
stuffed with socks
that reek of mold
and burn the sinuses
and clog the mind
that crawls at the speed of time
as fish swim downstream
backward
racing the current
chasing cherries
too ripe for the picking
but bleed from the wrists
dripping
like time

lost

my tempest heart is rivaled only by the sea,
my blood it stops when your head turns to me,
you touch my hand and my skin melts to let you through
can't stop it now
undo what you cannot bring to
i'm lost in you