beautiful, broken

Just when I think
That I’ve washed my hands of you
You flood back in
My sallow dreams
drowning me in blue

I used to like to live
Even when it felt like this
But now this is all I’m feeling
I know i’m better off dead

I still sit beside myself
Wishin’ it was you
So enamored by your memory
Life just passes through

My heart can be your hideaway
It’s been yours since we met
Tis’ not much, this I know
But it’s all that I am

And you don’t even care.
I’ve no words to sum my pain
Though pain be the difference between me and you
So beautifully broken

what good is love without loving you?

always lost
i've never found
myself
since you faded away
now i'm caught in your memory
my misery
the space you fail to reside
because my love is bigger than i am
more than my words could ever say
i've never felt so small
and i wonder how you could care
then never call
never write
leave me to my own
looking for my heart
it walked out on me with you
now resides in the place of last things
soon to be lost

still broken

alone in the morning sun
enjoying the calm
make myself a coffee
let it warm my fingertips

as the cream clouds my coffee
i feel the pull of your memory
and i slip into the haze

your warmth
your creamy skin
so smooth
so soft
like heaven in my hands

back to my coffee
satisfying
and i work through my day
remain that way
until i reach for my phone
hun, it's happening again

i stumble and fall
broken thoughts
of wanting
kissing you

your face
fingers in mine

and circles are the theme of my life
because i return to myself
now
sometimes with a smile
this time
with a smile

more than water

walking through halls
or streets
or heads
light as a feather
smile on face
snow gently falling
raining
calling
fumbling toward the bright
like a carrot on a string
heaven only knows
the garden we tread o'er
to get there
but when you've stopped to smell the roses
and find yourself back in the desert
water is not the only thing you crave