i walk through that doorway and the air hits me like baseball bat to the gut
suffocating
my head spins back to a time when things weren't so simple
jaded
still
i swim with anger i suppress to maintain something
anything
that resembles normal
normal.
why am i reaching for the unattainable?
when did i ever care?
then the dawn breaks and i realize i've never not.
now i stare at those smiling happy people
and i wretch.