it's been too long

i was born to tell you: 'i love you'

can't escape the nagging feeling that sits with me like a shadow when the sun comes out to play
only in the rain do i find it held at bay

your heat crawls under my skin
infecting everything it touches
cutting me up inside
until i've forgotten who i am
my blood boils
crying out my eyes
and catching in my throat
so words can't escape
and i fill with all i want to say
and all i need to be
is lost forever in a red sea
drowning amongst the fishes

my stomachs sickness seeps into my heart
dead butterflies make perfect food for the worms.

drained of all my insides
wear my skin upon your bones
holding still
my beating heart
you're wry grin's left my stomach in ropes
and i've never felt so weak
an end i've never feared before
the days fly by
and all the while
i hold onto everything
like there will be no other.

blood seething
burning skin
whoring out my wretched soul
beating from the inside out
dripping out my gender
staining everything i claim
tainting it forever
sickening me
my body aches
headless
and without horse.